At first time meeting a person, especially if it is through a dating site, can be both exciting and nerve‑wracking at the same time. It is important to be prepared both mentally and practically, as well as to communicate clearly and respectfully in the run‑up to the meeting.
Preparation is key
Before you meet your date, there are some things you should consider and prepare:
- Location and time: Choose a public place for the first meeting, such as a café or a restaurant. Avoid meeting at private places or someone’s home.
- Safety: Tell a friend or a family member where you are going and when you expect to be back. You might also consider sharing your location with a trusted person.
- Respect: Show respect for your date’s boundaries and comfort level. Pay attention to signals and reactions during the conversation.
Communication before the meeting
It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your date before the first meeting. Here are some important points to consider:
- Honesty: Be honest about your intentions and expectations for the meeting. Avoid creating false expectations.
- Planning: Agree on the details of the meeting in advance, including time, place and any activities.
- Clear expectations: Be clear and specific about what you want and don’t want during the meeting.
Things you shouldn't say
When communicating with your date leading up to the first meeting, there are certain things you should avoid saying to prevent uncomfortable situations:
- "Do you have condoms, or should I bring some?" – It is important to take responsibility for your own safety and have condoms with you if relevant. Avoid placing the responsibility on your date.
- "How much do you earn?" – Financial questions can be sensitive subjects and should be avoided in the early stages of dating.
- "Are you still friends with your ex?" – Questions about previous relationships can create unnecessary worry or jealousy and are best avoided until you have established a more trusting relationship.
- "Why are you still single?" – This question can come across as condescending or hurtful and should be avoided, as it can bring up negative feelings.
By being prepared and communicating clearly and respectfully, you can increase your chances of a successful first meeting and create a pleasant experience for both you and your date.
Set your expectations lower
It is normal to feel excited, nervous or have certain expectations for a date. However, try not to have too high expectations for the first date. If you come to the date with expectations that are too high, the other person will be able to sense it and it might backfire. Instead, try going on the date with an open mind, with the thought that anything can happen. Both good and bad. Take the date for what it is without too many expectations.
In this way you can relax more and you will be able to be more yourself on the date, which pays off in the long run.
